I dumped by boyfriend to meet Edward Cullen! Gosh, now people are getting mad at me for pursuing true love!?

Hello, this is Chupie Greentruck speaking...well typing. I am here to inform you about what has happened to you. You mind has been taken over by a clan of Antelopes and Chupacabras that live in Antartica and Mexico. Dont be scared. Your mine will be ok... eventually. I have seen this happen before to many people. It is very unfortunate what happens to their minds. You will only be insane for the next five full moons. Yes five. So it will be about five more months of being insane. Dont worry. Each full moon is three days each. The full moons are the dangerous days. The antelopes will fly over on walruses from Antartica and the chupacabras will either run over or take flying donkeys. You MUST lock your doors and windows. You have to stay safe. The biggest thing to know on the full moon is do not have any candy in sight. If you have been affected by the evil clan of antelope and chupacabras, you may experience these symptoms: Going crazy, the urge to howl at the moon, the crave of candy, running on your hands and feet, brushing your hair with a toothbrush, eating soap, bitting people, three red dots on your neck, sniffing peoples feet, hiding under beds, dizziness, climbing up trees, becoming a vampire, having sharp teeth, becoming pale, and many more. Thank you very much and beware child beware. Look for things that are different than usual. Beware beware all of you.