Servere depression Help me please??

I have been really depressed and i dont know what to do I have cervical cancer and may not be able to have kids unless i try now ( if i want to carry my baby) but im only 16 and only have til im around 18 until i may have to have a hysterectomy! I know im too young and i posted a qeustion about this and mostly got negative answers. Im just so sad because i want a family one day and want to carry my child without a suragate mother or adoption. Plus my mom died almost 2 years ago and she always wanted me to give her the grandaughter she never got and now i may not be able to and im tired of ppl telling me get over it no one can understand it unless they have went through it. I cant talk to my bf about it because it upsets him and for some odd reason he blames himself! can any one help me figure out a way to just relax adn not be so sad